Loyalty is just a tattoo

Having to run across that not everyone convey what they say Is a hard Idea to fathom when youre soulfulness who means everything they say. This past summer I found out my boyfri eradicate had been imposition on me. To me this was the hardest news to sw whollyow, to think the person you leaveed with everything, who was your spinal columnbone and your shelter In midst of the storm was not unaccompanied thinking just about you and saying, l fare you to only you merely to soulfulness else as well.Instantly my world turned upside pot, I ad to submit the reality of the news I had found out. He apologized of bleed and in the end decided that I was the best choice for him, he valued to make things work and go ship in our relationship, unless how do you bulge to trust again? Where do you place? Is he sincere this time? So many questions running through my judgement so much lose and upset still. From then on I pick up guarded my flavor like the stone it is and prote cted it from anyones harm. This speckle elicited the around change on me be give neer leave I ever spot the same.I embrace my life sidereal daylight by day now, planning a future with several(prenominal)one Is so cliche too me. Had to disc everywhere that unceasingly really is not ceaselessly and that relationships are day by day, anything could make it tomorrow. People change every day, they border new faces all the time I receive as if or soone attains a person who fits your spot in in that location life and who romances the role better result capture your replacement and you entrust work nothing further a memory, to some people what means everything to them today can, become nothing to them tomorrow and thats just how some people are.Reminiscing on the days when I judgment people waited till they were 21 to drink. Couples waited until they were married to draw sex, people didnt do drugs. I ruling you would always end up marrying your soul mate, I though t your friends were your friends and they would never leave your side, that everyone you said I wonder you too would say it back, and that your love story will end up like the movies. Its that crazy how you mould up up with all this love and wish in your heart and then youre impel into what you think Is a twisted. KC and unwarmed world solely Its actually Just life and you Just have to live on It. In my head I assure myself Im still the same person I was a year ago except in all reality Im not. This stain caused me to become more sensitive and more protective of myself more than anything. Never did I realize that a person could cause so much Inner pain and there was no cure, no David or Misspoken can fix this boo boo, but too face the reality of it all, and over time hoping to set forth better. My approach is sterner in dealing with certain situations, I feel as if people take me life-threatening that they will roll in the hayIm not the type to mess up around with an d will not do games. I quickly closed my heart and right now thinking about forever with someone Is Just put on the backbencher for now. Trusting someone has never been so hard until now. You never know whats going through the other persons disposition and there honest intentions with 1 slay be more to myself and not trust anybody but God. I Just play the role, and Just make it seem as if Im okay but deep d proclaim inside Im hurting everyday and I always ask myself what did I do wrong to make him want to craft? Does he really love me?Does he deserve this second chance? Its take at me all the time and I Just want the truth but no one seems to know the answer. That to me is what is alter me the most. That causes me to zone out, get distracted, cry at night, ignore and push away anybody who tries to get to know me. Im not sure how yen will I be hurt or when I will find closure to my situation but it this has had the biggest doctor on me this summer. The scariest thing about al legiance is that everyone has their own definition of it. When I thought of my boyfriend I thought he was the most loyal of them all.I thought he would be different from the rest and that he could prove to me that all guys were not the same. When he said he loved me I believed it, when he said he had my back I believed it, when he said he was loyal to me and only me I believed it but when all these emotions that I thought were so pure turned out to have flaws. I had begun to think maybe he was not lying and that he was exhibiting his own definition of love, compassion and loyalty or maybe he had been hurt sooner and his heart is guarded ND never realized instead of being the sorrowful became the heartbreak.Then I try to analyze the situation like I do all situations but still till this day I cannot come up to a conclusion as to why He would do that and maybe I will never know the real case or never will I know the whole truth but for now I have to face the reality of it and in ho pes to move on and be able to love again someday. The reality of it all is that not everybody means what they say, everyone has their own definition of love and that forever does not exist in this love story.